Sunday, January 29, 2012
Where have I been?
I hate finding good blogs that haven't been updated in a while. Not that this is a good blog. I also hate finding posts like: "I'm finally back after a long while and I resolve to post every day from here on out." And they're dated 2 years ago. I'm around, just really busy with grad school. Maybe I'll try to update regularly again. We'll see.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Letter From Basic Training - March 31, 2004
31MAR04
Dear Mary Beth,
I ran out of the good paper, so I will have to tear it out of my notebook until I get back to the PX. I am good right now but very cold. I am sitting in the bleachers at the rifle range and guarding weapons. I wished before that I would get a chance to sit here, and I did, but now I've been here for 2 hours and its getting old. We have these targets like this:
And we have to shoot six shots in a 4 cm circle. The shots today do not have to be anywhere in particular they could be here [arrow] or here [other arrow], it doesn't matter as long as they are close together, and then they adjust your rifle, so that when you aim at the center, that is where you hit. [This is called grouping.]
Ok, it got too cold to write. Now it's 1 AM and I'm down at the CQ desk with Manning, the guy who wants out. He's a nice guy. I hope he gets his wish and gets out of the Army. Some guys are dicks to him and I don't think that's right, but it is funny when the drill sergeants yell at someone else.
[It's funny because I thought I hated Manning and tormented all these guys. I feel a little better that I wasn't a total bully. On the other hand, it's important to weed out the weak and the unsound in Basic before they become liabilities. This is War, not a social club. I guess I figured the other guys were doing a good enough job]
Today, instead of shooting, he went to a support group for soldiers not able to handle Basic [ahhhahaha], and they [the Drill Sergeants] were pissed.
I got in an argument with this kid today. It's one of the same kids that is always out to get Manning. His name is Carter and I used to think he was cool. He claims to have sex with all sorts of people like lesbians and midgets and to have pitched in 2 major league games. But I caught him in a lie about wrestling with the Navy team the other day, so I'm going to have my dad check out the baseball thing. [stay tuned :)]
We got in a fight because it was 8:30 PM or so, and the drill sergeants hadn't really given us any instructions on what to do, so everyone was standing around, either bullshitting or loudly arguing, and I was behind a bunch of guys by my locker addressing a letter to Ty [buddy of mine from the gym I worked at who was briefly in the Army], when all of a sudden Carter is like, "Dude is it true personal time? (time we have in evening for letters, showers, etc.)
Me: No.
Him: Well, why are you writing a letter?
Me: (Gives finger) I'm putting a stamp on one. Mind your business.
Him: We're not supposed to write letters now!
Me: Relax, I'm not running around the bay naked. No-one can see me here.
Him: I'm just trying to get people to have some discipline..
Me: I'll tell you what, when you become an E5 (sergeant), come find me and give me some discipline. Until then, leave me alone.
[The army is full of these busybodies who think they are in charge of everything. I mean, sure, if someone is doing something unsafe, correct him. Or if he is flagrantly violating some norm or standard, like wearing his hat sideways, say something. Hell, if you don't and a sergeant shows up, you'll get in trouble for not stopping him. But like the Bible says, if you've got a log in your eye (or the other guys in the platoon do) don't pester people with splinters)
He rolled his eyes, but I was pissed that he called me out like that, because if anything, we were going to get in trouble for people being loud. A minute later, DS Swartz came through the door and as I promised, I closed my locker and no one was the wiser. I think that neither one of us will hold a grudge though.
Some kid told me that family day is only 11-7 on Saturday, in which case you'd probably find it pointless to go and might want to come during graduation instead. I was so pissed when I heard that. I'll ask my parents because they got the letter and check with the drill sergeants in the next couple of days. [deleted personal chit-chat] I don't know, if family day is only 8 hours, I'm depressed. No-one who lives farther away than like Alabama will have anyone visit. I'll just go get a pizza or something and call you. :(. They didn't give us mail today either, and I know there should have been some.
[sappy romantic crap. Here's a song that we sing that I like]
Used to date a beauty queen,
Now I have an M16.
Chorus: And it won't be looooong,
Till I get on back hoooooome.
Left my family and my wife,
So I could live the Army life.
Millions of other verses.
At least I grouped in 12 shots which was acceptable. Layton did it in 6. Bastard. But it took Greenberg 54, which was amusing.
[This was my least favorite part of marksmanship training. If you are reasonably competent, you shoot a few shots and you're done for the entire day. If you are utterly hopeless, you get to shoot over and over again, endless rounds. I think that some guys would eventually pretend to fail the first few times so that they'd get to shoot more. Greenberg, on the other hand, legitimately sucked at everything.]
Dear Mary Beth,
I ran out of the good paper, so I will have to tear it out of my notebook until I get back to the PX. I am good right now but very cold. I am sitting in the bleachers at the rifle range and guarding weapons. I wished before that I would get a chance to sit here, and I did, but now I've been here for 2 hours and its getting old. We have these targets like this:
And we have to shoot six shots in a 4 cm circle. The shots today do not have to be anywhere in particular they could be here [arrow] or here [other arrow], it doesn't matter as long as they are close together, and then they adjust your rifle, so that when you aim at the center, that is where you hit. [This is called grouping.]
Ok, it got too cold to write. Now it's 1 AM and I'm down at the CQ desk with Manning, the guy who wants out. He's a nice guy. I hope he gets his wish and gets out of the Army. Some guys are dicks to him and I don't think that's right, but it is funny when the drill sergeants yell at someone else.
[It's funny because I thought I hated Manning and tormented all these guys. I feel a little better that I wasn't a total bully. On the other hand, it's important to weed out the weak and the unsound in Basic before they become liabilities. This is War, not a social club. I guess I figured the other guys were doing a good enough job]
Today, instead of shooting, he went to a support group for soldiers not able to handle Basic [ahhhahaha], and they [the Drill Sergeants] were pissed.
I got in an argument with this kid today. It's one of the same kids that is always out to get Manning. His name is Carter and I used to think he was cool. He claims to have sex with all sorts of people like lesbians and midgets and to have pitched in 2 major league games. But I caught him in a lie about wrestling with the Navy team the other day, so I'm going to have my dad check out the baseball thing. [stay tuned :)]
We got in a fight because it was 8:30 PM or so, and the drill sergeants hadn't really given us any instructions on what to do, so everyone was standing around, either bullshitting or loudly arguing, and I was behind a bunch of guys by my locker addressing a letter to Ty [buddy of mine from the gym I worked at who was briefly in the Army], when all of a sudden Carter is like, "Dude is it true personal time? (time we have in evening for letters, showers, etc.)
Me: No.
Him: Well, why are you writing a letter?
Me: (Gives finger) I'm putting a stamp on one. Mind your business.
Him: We're not supposed to write letters now!
Me: Relax, I'm not running around the bay naked. No-one can see me here.
Him: I'm just trying to get people to have some discipline..
Me: I'll tell you what, when you become an E5 (sergeant), come find me and give me some discipline. Until then, leave me alone.
[The army is full of these busybodies who think they are in charge of everything. I mean, sure, if someone is doing something unsafe, correct him. Or if he is flagrantly violating some norm or standard, like wearing his hat sideways, say something. Hell, if you don't and a sergeant shows up, you'll get in trouble for not stopping him. But like the Bible says, if you've got a log in your eye (or the other guys in the platoon do) don't pester people with splinters)
He rolled his eyes, but I was pissed that he called me out like that, because if anything, we were going to get in trouble for people being loud. A minute later, DS Swartz came through the door and as I promised, I closed my locker and no one was the wiser. I think that neither one of us will hold a grudge though.
Some kid told me that family day is only 11-7 on Saturday, in which case you'd probably find it pointless to go and might want to come during graduation instead. I was so pissed when I heard that. I'll ask my parents because they got the letter and check with the drill sergeants in the next couple of days. [deleted personal chit-chat] I don't know, if family day is only 8 hours, I'm depressed. No-one who lives farther away than like Alabama will have anyone visit. I'll just go get a pizza or something and call you. :(. They didn't give us mail today either, and I know there should have been some.
[sappy romantic crap. Here's a song that we sing that I like]
Used to date a beauty queen,
Now I have an M16.
Chorus: And it won't be looooong,
Till I get on back hoooooome.
Left my family and my wife,
So I could live the Army life.
Millions of other verses.
At least I grouped in 12 shots which was acceptable. Layton did it in 6. Bastard. But it took Greenberg 54, which was amusing.
[This was my least favorite part of marksmanship training. If you are reasonably competent, you shoot a few shots and you're done for the entire day. If you are utterly hopeless, you get to shoot over and over again, endless rounds. I think that some guys would eventually pretend to fail the first few times so that they'd get to shoot more. Greenberg, on the other hand, legitimately sucked at everything.]
Sunday, June 05, 2011
The Last Temptation of Christ
Karena and I watched about an hour of The Last Temptation of Christ. Both of us agreed that if we were going to run the risk of watching a blasphemous movie, it should at least be entertaining.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Swords
i just got done playing "Swords" (nerf bowling pins) with Rex.
He consecutively defeated The Troll (moans,uses bowling pin as club), The Baron (talks in bad French accent, tries to hit him on the ass with a plastic golf club) and Two Sword Guy (take a wild guess).
After each of these opponents are defeated, they lay on the ground, weapon within easy reach, and summon Rex in a Marlon Brando-Godfather-Hospital voice. "Noble Knight, come here, I will tell you where the secret treasure is buried!" From long experience, Rex has learned that this is a Trick, and he carefully delivers the coup de grace to his downed opponents by jabbing them in the midsection.
He consecutively defeated The Troll (moans,uses bowling pin as club), The Baron (talks in bad French accent, tries to hit him on the ass with a plastic golf club) and Two Sword Guy (take a wild guess).
After each of these opponents are defeated, they lay on the ground, weapon within easy reach, and summon Rex in a Marlon Brando-Godfather-Hospital voice. "Noble Knight, come here, I will tell you where the secret treasure is buried!" From long experience, Rex has learned that this is a Trick, and he carefully delivers the coup de grace to his downed opponents by jabbing them in the midsection.
Southern Tonguetwisters
Towards the end of this post, I made fun of my wife's southern mispronunciations. Disclaimer: I have a problem pronouncing big words that I have read, but never heard.
Okay, I've shown I have a weakness, now I can ethically get to the fun stuff, teasing others. Have Karena/someone from the South say these things:
"Mint! I meant mint."
They'll say: "Mint! I mint mint!"
"Andy, I want ten eggs, no chemicals"
They'll say: "Endy, I want tin aygs, no kimicles."
Hilarious!
Okay, I've shown I have a weakness, now I can ethically get to the fun stuff, teasing others. Have Karena/someone from the South say these things:
"Mint! I meant mint."
They'll say: "Mint! I mint mint!"
"Andy, I want ten eggs, no chemicals"
They'll say: "Endy, I want tin aygs, no kimicles."
Hilarious!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Cocaine and Marijuana Are Good For You.
 |
| Note that the State Police "Special Operation Response Team" wears the same camouflage as the Army. Because it's necessary to make people think we're under martial law. |
Check out this story in the Albany Times Union by Robert Gavin. Some lunatic named Issac Peterson took a lady and her kids hostage because he wanted to call his ex-wife. I'm surprised it didn't happen in Troy which is slightly more dangerous than its Bronze Age equivalent. The guy drew on cops and got shot five times in the chest with a rifle. (he definitely deserved it) He is expected to live. The highlight from the article is this information from Capt. Steven James, commander of the State Police Bureau of Criminal Investigation:
"James, a 23-year veteran of the State Police, said someone who was shot five times would seemingly have a remote chance at survival. But he noted, in his experience he's seen drug users survive serious injury; he suspected Peterson was using cocaine and marijuana during the ordeal."
So the takeaway is that if you want to survive serious injury, take drugs, specifically cocaine and marijuana. I wish I knew this before I went to Iraq. I would have felt a lot safer. And if James doesn't let his men get high before raids, isn't he risking their lives?
 |
| Drugs saved this man's life. Legalize today! |
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Twelve Ways Lifting Weights Is Like Brushing Your Teeth
1. Have you ever heard someone say "I'm so busy, I just don't have time to brush my teeth!" No, but I bet you hear people say that they don't have time to go to the gym. Aha! I can hear you already saying "Brushing your teeth only takes a minute. Going to the gym takes hours!" Well exercise (should) work your muscles, bones, circulatory and respiratory systems. I think it's worth more than a minute.
You don't even have to go to the gym. I mean you should do a little more than a couple of pushups - educate yourself on bodyweight training - but you don't have to devote hours to exercise. (See #2) If Arnold Schwarzenegger had time to make movies, have a family, run for governor, make millions of dollars, endorse products and still work out every day, you can take an hour out of your busy schedule too.
2. So you want clean white teeth. As a New Years Resolution, you brush three hours a day, every day. You impress everyone - look how hard that guy is scrubbing away at his teeth! But it's too much to maintain. You're too busy one day to brush. Then you just give it up. Your teeth don't really look any whiter, so you take the next eleven months off. You're going to have moss mouth. The guy who sticks to a regular brushing schedule, day in and day out, year in and year out will have pearly whites.
3. Imagine that a group of people are into having strong, sharp teeth and muscular jaws. They enter contests where they tear apart rawhide and gnash lumps of taffy. And another group enters contests too, but their criteria are aesthetic only: they just want to have the most spectacularly gleaming smile. In either case, by all means, be competitive, but never sacrifice your enamel or your gums in order to win a plastic trophy. Remember, unless you want to wear dentures at 40, think twice before you start filing away on your teeth or injecting things into your gums.
4. Toothbrushing should never become the sole focus of your life. Even if you are making your living as a tooth model or a professional chewer, you should not neglect friends, family, intellectual pursuits or your spirituality.
5. Even small children can and should brush their teeth. But they don't use adult-sized toothbrushes. And they require strict adult supervision. I still brush my 3-year-old son's teeth. Otherwise he would just swallow the toothpaste, then grind the bristles of his brush against three or four of his teeth and call it a day. (Not to mention leaving puddles of water on every flat surface)
6. There's a proper technique to toothbrushing. Circular motions. Brush all sides. Take your time. And if you're not sure how to do it correctly - maybe you should pick up a copy of Toothbrushing for Dummies. Or - God forbid - ask someone? Go to a dentist and find out if you're using proper brushing form. Rather than spend hours each day doing it wrong, potentially harming your teeth, why not take a little time to educate yourself?
7. Avoid scams and supplements. Miracle Paste! Once-A-Month Rinses! Sonic Toothbrush! Throw this garbage away and brush your teeth correctly and consistently. Don't risk your health and your wallet on hoaxes and quackery.
8. So you don't want the whitest teeth in the world. You would be satisfied if they just would stop being being that vile green color. This doesn't mean that you should brush half-heartedly or only once a week. Don't worry ladies - your teeth won't get "too manly".
9. Be neat and courteous. If you share a bathroom with other people, don't leave toothpaste globs in the sink. Wait until it is your turn to brush, then move out of the way.
10. There's a limit to how white your teeth are going to get. If your parents had rotten teeth full of cavities, you may never be toothbrushing world champion. Also realize that the tooth photographs in the magazines are airbrushed, and many of the models have had their teeth capped.
11. Everything about toothbrushing has been discovered by 1950. All the new-fangled Russian brushing systems, Crossbrush, and group brushing classes are just clever ways for people to take your money.
12. Don't eat crappy, sugary food and wonder why you can't have nice white teeth.
You don't even have to go to the gym. I mean you should do a little more than a couple of pushups - educate yourself on bodyweight training - but you don't have to devote hours to exercise. (See #2) If Arnold Schwarzenegger had time to make movies, have a family, run for governor, make millions of dollars, endorse products and still work out every day, you can take an hour out of your busy schedule too.
2. So you want clean white teeth. As a New Years Resolution, you brush three hours a day, every day. You impress everyone - look how hard that guy is scrubbing away at his teeth! But it's too much to maintain. You're too busy one day to brush. Then you just give it up. Your teeth don't really look any whiter, so you take the next eleven months off. You're going to have moss mouth. The guy who sticks to a regular brushing schedule, day in and day out, year in and year out will have pearly whites.
3. Imagine that a group of people are into having strong, sharp teeth and muscular jaws. They enter contests where they tear apart rawhide and gnash lumps of taffy. And another group enters contests too, but their criteria are aesthetic only: they just want to have the most spectacularly gleaming smile. In either case, by all means, be competitive, but never sacrifice your enamel or your gums in order to win a plastic trophy. Remember, unless you want to wear dentures at 40, think twice before you start filing away on your teeth or injecting things into your gums.
4. Toothbrushing should never become the sole focus of your life. Even if you are making your living as a tooth model or a professional chewer, you should not neglect friends, family, intellectual pursuits or your spirituality.
5. Even small children can and should brush their teeth. But they don't use adult-sized toothbrushes. And they require strict adult supervision. I still brush my 3-year-old son's teeth. Otherwise he would just swallow the toothpaste, then grind the bristles of his brush against three or four of his teeth and call it a day. (Not to mention leaving puddles of water on every flat surface)
6. There's a proper technique to toothbrushing. Circular motions. Brush all sides. Take your time. And if you're not sure how to do it correctly - maybe you should pick up a copy of Toothbrushing for Dummies. Or - God forbid - ask someone? Go to a dentist and find out if you're using proper brushing form. Rather than spend hours each day doing it wrong, potentially harming your teeth, why not take a little time to educate yourself?
7. Avoid scams and supplements. Miracle Paste! Once-A-Month Rinses! Sonic Toothbrush! Throw this garbage away and brush your teeth correctly and consistently. Don't risk your health and your wallet on hoaxes and quackery.
8. So you don't want the whitest teeth in the world. You would be satisfied if they just would stop being being that vile green color. This doesn't mean that you should brush half-heartedly or only once a week. Don't worry ladies - your teeth won't get "too manly".
9. Be neat and courteous. If you share a bathroom with other people, don't leave toothpaste globs in the sink. Wait until it is your turn to brush, then move out of the way.
10. There's a limit to how white your teeth are going to get. If your parents had rotten teeth full of cavities, you may never be toothbrushing world champion. Also realize that the tooth photographs in the magazines are airbrushed, and many of the models have had their teeth capped.
11. Everything about toothbrushing has been discovered by 1950. All the new-fangled Russian brushing systems, Crossbrush, and group brushing classes are just clever ways for people to take your money.
12. Don't eat crappy, sugary food and wonder why you can't have nice white teeth.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Siena vs. Georgia Tech
Went to the Siena/Georgia Tech game tonight at the Pepsi Arena with my father. Some interesting tidbits:
1. My dad got tickets from two of his hiking buddies. They have season tickets, but one had to work late, so we got to go. This has happened before. Siena is 2-0 with my dad attending and 0-3 when the ladies attend.
2. The old Siena Coach, Paul Hewitt, now coaches Georgia Tech. Because he was the winningest Siena coach, I asked my dad how he would be received. My dad correctly predicted the crowd response - hearty applause
3. Georgia Tech scheduled the game last year because one of their players is from Albany. Or was. The guy decided to graduate early.
4. It was spring break, so the student contingent was missing, but Siena might literally have the oldest fans in all of college basketball. My dad and I were the two youngest people in our section. The average Siena fan is an portly Irishman wearing a newsboy cap and a "Class of '38" sweatshirt. He has not missed a game since Latin was spoken in church. He will not respond to cheerleaders his granddaughter's age ("MAKE SOME NOISE") but he knows the rulebook and loudly points out any of the referee's failings. (Judging by the commentary and the number of bifocals in the stands, the officials' eyesight must be really bad). Siena packs the stands (8000+) for two reasons. There is nothing else to do in Albany and their fans never die.
5. Siena has the least physically imposing team in college basketball. Their 6'9 center Ryan Rossiter has just entered puberty at the age of 21.
6. Siena won, much to everyone's delight, except for Paul Hewitt, who looked a bit nauseous, considering he'd come all the way from Georgia to lose to a team who he supposedly "outgrew". Understandable - his job might be on the line.
7. Last time I went to a Siena game was in 1994. It was an NIT game, and they upset Georgia Tech at the Pepsi Arena. That was the last time the two teams played. However, given the age and dedication of the fan base, I would imagine that 6,000 other people also attended both games.
1. My dad got tickets from two of his hiking buddies. They have season tickets, but one had to work late, so we got to go. This has happened before. Siena is 2-0 with my dad attending and 0-3 when the ladies attend.
2. The old Siena Coach, Paul Hewitt, now coaches Georgia Tech. Because he was the winningest Siena coach, I asked my dad how he would be received. My dad correctly predicted the crowd response - hearty applause
3. Georgia Tech scheduled the game last year because one of their players is from Albany. Or was. The guy decided to graduate early.
4. It was spring break, so the student contingent was missing, but Siena might literally have the oldest fans in all of college basketball. My dad and I were the two youngest people in our section. The average Siena fan is an portly Irishman wearing a newsboy cap and a "Class of '38" sweatshirt. He has not missed a game since Latin was spoken in church. He will not respond to cheerleaders his granddaughter's age ("MAKE SOME NOISE") but he knows the rulebook and loudly points out any of the referee's failings. (Judging by the commentary and the number of bifocals in the stands, the officials' eyesight must be really bad). Siena packs the stands (8000+) for two reasons. There is nothing else to do in Albany and their fans never die.
5. Siena has the least physically imposing team in college basketball. Their 6'9 center Ryan Rossiter has just entered puberty at the age of 21.
6. Siena won, much to everyone's delight, except for Paul Hewitt, who looked a bit nauseous, considering he'd come all the way from Georgia to lose to a team who he supposedly "outgrew". Understandable - his job might be on the line.
7. Last time I went to a Siena game was in 1994. It was an NIT game, and they upset Georgia Tech at the Pepsi Arena. That was the last time the two teams played. However, given the age and dedication of the fan base, I would imagine that 6,000 other people also attended both games.
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